Pride Profile: Dwayne Fontenette, Jr.
“I want every queer Scout to feel safe and to feel comfortable being themselves in Scouting.”
Pride Profiles are stories that revisit and reintroduce some of Scouting’s LGBTQ+ leaders and activists. This story was part of a collection of profiles destined for a national Scouting conference that was cancelled this year due to the pandemic. So I wanted to share it here, and give you all a chance to learn about Dwayne’s journey through Scouting.
I was living in Philadelphia during the summer of 2015, working at an internship and struggling to find my footing as a journalist during the red-hot final days of Scouting’s gay membership battle.
I asked a Scouting friend if he knew of any gay Scouts in the city I could talk to. He laughed and immediately shot back: “Do you know Dwayne Fontenette?”
I didn’t. I don’t think I knew, personally, any out gay Scouts at the time. But here was Dwayne, a grad student whose time in Philly would be up in a few weeks, but was willing to chat. We met at a coffee shop in the Gayborhood, I think. I remember almost nothing of that first meeting, except that Dwayne was clutching a stack of books and left an impression on me with his warm, welcoming presence.
As luck would have it, we ended up in the same city again that fall. I returned to Boston, where I was going to college, and Dwayne moved there, too, for work.
I stole away from my duties as editor of the college paper one night to meet Dwayne at a Thai restaurant around the corner. Soon after we got through the pleasantries, I shared with Dwayne something I had barely uttered to anyone else: I was queer. It was a label I was just beginning to claim for myself after a summer of discovery and disorientation. But it felt safe to confide in Dwayne across the table that evening.
I always think back to that night as the moment when my friendship with Dwayne really began. Today, about four years later, we’re closer than ever, even if distance and a pandemic has severely curtailed our brunch routine. But through voicemails and phone calls, we’re getting to know each other better all the time.
I asked Dwayne this spring to reflect on his experience in Scouting as a queer person. Here’s what he told me.
I was fearful of coming out because I was afraid of losing my family and friends and the trust of my fellow Scouts. I also could have been removed from Scouting, given the policy at the time. What I know now, that I wish I knew then, is that my parents loved me unconditionally. My true friends would support me. And that coming out would allow me to expand my understanding of family to include many, many queer Scouts who are now my chosen family.
The future that I want to see for LGBTQ people in Scouting is quite simple: I want every queer Scout to feel safe and to feel comfortable being themselves in Scouting. I want queer Scouts to see others like them in leadership positions. I want every queer family to be able to join the unit of their choosing. And I want queer Scouts to have the opportunity to be in community with one another.
Scouting changed my life. Through Scouting, I traveled beyond my hometown and experienced the joy of nature and the beauty of a starlit sky. Through Scouting, I developed a moral compass and the confidence to lead. Scouting also introduced me to many of my closest friends. At times, I’ve found that circumstances have necessitated being a critical friend of Scouting, but that’s OK. Scouting also taught me the importance of being honest and of working to make the things you love better. That’s why I continue to volunteer.
— As told by Dwayne Fontenette, Jr.
Scouting Honors: Eagle Scout
OA Honors: Vigil Honor, DSA
Pronouns: He/Him/His
Identity: Gay
Do you know someone I should interview or profile? Reply to this email and let me know, and I’ll see about featuring them in a future Pride Profile.
Love this, Mike. Great project, great stories. Dwayne is such a good ambassador for Scouting. A real leader in cheerful service.
Great article as always Mike! It is such a pleasure to know you and the other friends identified in this piece. Keep up the awesome work.